Electric stapler is the key to happiness
Brilliant friend George Bernard advised me that a major reason I was feeling depressed was because I did not have an electric stapler. I immediatly called staples and bought Swingline Optima 45. This amazing stapler makes a pleasant noise and can staple 45 sheets of paper with a regular stapler instantly.
Liberal white scum and phony politicians and priests try to give you a million reasons why you are sad. While in most cases you are miserable because of the creepy Jewish wife you are stuck with who burped out 3 obnoxious brats this is not the end of the story. As George pointed out an electric stapler can cure the blues and is a lot cheaper than 20 worthless visits to Dr. Goldstein or your friendly neighborhood hooker or gay bar.
